Queen Elizabeth once said, “Grief is the price we pay for love.” And one could argue that gratitude is the balm that heals the wounds of loss. But what is the science behind gratitude and how can it help after experiencing a loss?
Gratitude is Good for You
Grief and gratitude may seem like an odd pairing, but as author and psychotherapist Francis Weller writes, “Gratitude is the other hand of grief. It is the mature person who welcomes both. Life is hard and filled with suffering. Life is also a most precious gift, a reason for continual celebration and appreciation.”
The research is clear that gratitude can positively influence both physical and mental health so why not use it as a tool when coping with the death of a family member, friend, or other loss?
According to a 2023 review of 64 randomized clinical trials, people who experienced gratitude interventions had better mental health with more positive mood and emotions.1 There are several health benefits to having a grateful attitude that go beyond mental health. In addition to deepening resilience, gratitude can benefit the central nervous system, heart function, and immunity.2
Specific to grief, a 2023 study found that cultivating gratitude helped people cope better with loss as it encouraged resilience, valuing the loss, transcendence, and personal growth.3 The authors explain that grief is not just an emotion, it’s an “experience that touches every dimension of life. It shows up in the body, overwhelms cognition, impacts relationships, and potentially fractures the spirit.”
Gratitude can help heal unresolved grief, which can build up and become harmful to health.4 That’s why it’s so important to process all grief, big and small.
Get Grateful
Consider placing gratitude at the top of your list of healthy ways to cope with grief. There are several techniques that can encourage more gratitude in your life, but the key is to make it a daily habit.5 Studies show that keeping a daily gratitude journal can help.6 You could also do a daily gratitude walk. And just thinking thankful thoughts periodically throughout your day can help infuse appreciation into your routine and make gratitude a habit.
It's important to remember that grieving and dealing with loss is complex and highly individualized so trust your intuition and get the support you need to process your grief, so you can feel grateful for the love you felt and still feel.4
Bestselling author Rita Mae Brown was quoted as saying, “I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me, but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the loss.”
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References
- Diniz G, Korkes L, Tristao L, et al. The effects of gratitude interventions: a systemic review and meta-analysis. Einstein. 2023;21. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10393216/
- Pratt M. The science of gratitude. Mindful. 2022;Feb 17. https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-gratitude/
- Elfers J, Hlava P, Sharpe F, et al. Resilience and loss: the correlation of grief and gratitude. International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology. 2023;9:327-345. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41042-023-00126-1
- Gazella K. The harmful effects of unresolved grief. Psychology Today. 2024;Sept 20. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-healing-factor/202409/the-harmful-effects-of-unresolved-grief
- National Institutes of Health. Practicing gratitude. News in Health. 2019;March. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2019/03/practicing-gratitude
- Redwine LS, Henry BL, Pung MA, et al. Pilot randomized study of a gratitude journaling intervention on heart rate variability and inflammatory biomarkers in patients with stage B heart failure. Psychosom Med. 2016;78(6):667-76. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27187845/
